Exhaustion

Is there such thing as exhuastion? Exhaustion is the TOTAL consumption of something. A state I have never truly experienced. I've never gone running and fallen over because I had absolutely nothing left. And yet I've flippantly thrown that word around this week hoping it would buy me some pity. It did, and I was profoundly grateful. I had every right to complain, didn't I? I ran my first 20 mile run and THEN I was supposed to run 4 miles, 9 miles, 4 miles and another 9 miles last week. Man, a girl can't catch a break! So I gave myself one. I skipped my last 9 mile run. I knew I just couldn't do it; after all, I was exhausted!

When we're tired, it reveals our true character. And my true character seems to be that when I'm "exhausted" I eat worse, whine more, and basically take on a victim mentality. I pat my belly, "Aw, poor, belly,  what you need is some chocolate!" I rub my legs, "Poor wittle, wegs, you need a break from running!" And I sit in front of the t.v. and content myself with the fact that I'm exhausted and if I tried to get up my legs, no doubt, would buckle beneath me. I've even permitted myself to be grumpy and whiny. Poor Mark deals with it by provoking my wrath! :)

What would happen if we would speak more honestly and allowed ourselves less excuses? I can't even imagine! We would actually become adults and take responsibility for our words and our growth! I would say things like, "I'm really tired this week from running so much, but I'm not going to give in to that. I'm going to keep going, strengthen my legs, mind and lungs so that I'm ready for my marathon." Do such people really exist? They must! There are some pretty amazing people who've accomplished some pretty amazing things.

And so I'm going to work on my character a little bit more this week. Yes, my legs are tired, and definitely my brain feels weak. But instead of rubbing my belly and legs and seeking refuge in front of the t.v., I'm going to try to work past the weakness in me and see what's comes out on the other side. I'm guessing a little more willpower and definitely stronger legs! Wish me luck! And say a prayer for Mark so that I don't bite his head off while I'm so "exhausted"! :)