Exhaustion

Is there such thing as exhuastion? Exhaustion is the TOTAL consumption of something. A state I have never truly experienced. I've never gone running and fallen over because I had absolutely nothing left. And yet I've flippantly thrown that word around this week hoping it would buy me some pity. It did, and I was profoundly grateful. I had every right to complain, didn't I? I ran my first 20 mile run and THEN I was supposed to run 4 miles, 9 miles, 4 miles and another 9 miles last week. Man, a girl can't catch a break! So I gave myself one. I skipped my last 9 mile run. I knew I just couldn't do it; after all, I was exhausted!

When we're tired, it reveals our true character. And my true character seems to be that when I'm "exhausted" I eat worse, whine more, and basically take on a victim mentality. I pat my belly, "Aw, poor, belly,  what you need is some chocolate!" I rub my legs, "Poor wittle, wegs, you need a break from running!" And I sit in front of the t.v. and content myself with the fact that I'm exhausted and if I tried to get up my legs, no doubt, would buckle beneath me. I've even permitted myself to be grumpy and whiny. Poor Mark deals with it by provoking my wrath! :)

What would happen if we would speak more honestly and allowed ourselves less excuses? I can't even imagine! We would actually become adults and take responsibility for our words and our growth! I would say things like, "I'm really tired this week from running so much, but I'm not going to give in to that. I'm going to keep going, strengthen my legs, mind and lungs so that I'm ready for my marathon." Do such people really exist? They must! There are some pretty amazing people who've accomplished some pretty amazing things.

And so I'm going to work on my character a little bit more this week. Yes, my legs are tired, and definitely my brain feels weak. But instead of rubbing my belly and legs and seeking refuge in front of the t.v., I'm going to try to work past the weakness in me and see what's comes out on the other side. I'm guessing a little more willpower and definitely stronger legs! Wish me luck! And say a prayer for Mark so that I don't bite his head off while I'm so "exhausted"! :)

Still Not a Competition, Right?

I know, it's sad. I can't seem to help myself. I try really hard to just be excited about me and let everyone else go at their own pace, but there are just some people that I can't seem to do that with, and Mark is one of them. It's not even fair really; it's like comparing apples to oranges. He's a man, therefore he has all his man muscles that will keep him far above me in all things physical. And then, as far as men go, he's actually really fast. His 100 m time in college could have qualified him for the Olympic trials. I mean, really, what is wrong with me? And then as far as I go. I'm a long distance runner. He's always trained for sprints. It's not really fair to compare my 20 mile run to his 4 mile run, right? But....that's what I do!

We went running together the other day. He hadn't run in 3 weeks since he was sick, and I was still stinging from my pathetic 15K with him from the 23rd. He could have so easily kicked by butt, but in my defense I was sick! So, I asked him if he'd like to go running (mind you I'm completely healed now from my sickness) and he reluctantly agreed. I told him he could pick the distance and I'd pick the pace. Poor guy, he was trusting me to pick the pace! I started at an 8:30. No, not on purpose, I mean he's a sprinter, right?? Obviously that's a simple pace for him. When he's well...oops. So we ran and walked some and went about 4 miles. He was gasping for air and I was fine. I didn't say anything to his face, but come on...I won, right? :)

It's Not a Competition

One of the greatest things I love about running is that it's not a competition. Recently, Mark asked me how fast people on the Biggest Loser ran the marathon and I told him, "I don't know. I'm not competing against them, I'm competing against myself." Wise words, right? But are they words I can live by?

I got myself a free weeks pass at 24 Hour Fitness because we've had a lot of storms come through and I couldn't run outside without risk of becoming paralyzed or sudden death. I have to admit, I don't love running on the treadmill, but one does what one must when a marathon looms over one's head. I needed to run 8 miles that day and I snagged one of the good treadmills. Turned on a show and began to run. Not much time had passed before I noticed a girl ahead and to the right of me running. Had she been there long? I don't think she was there when I first started. Throughout my run I'd check, yep, she was still running. She looked to be in pretty good shape. Her running pace looked good. How long was she going to run anyway???

Once my 8 miles were up I did my stretching and headed to the ladies locker room. In there was the girl that had been running as well. I got up the nerve and asked her, "How long did you run for?" I mean, I was behind her so she couldn't know that I was running too. "Only 7 miles." She answered and walked away. I called after her, "That's good!" But in my head I was thinking...Oh yeah, I did 8. I win!